The difference

You can count your passed days and reminiscing all the yesterdays and (you should) be grateful because up until now you still are able to inhale those dusty air and create another history of your own. You can close your eyes and smile or cry out of nowhere. You can follow your foot rhyme and dance while remembering the songs that lift your days into cloud nine. You can crush the mirrors and spit some harsh words for the the bygone that pissed you into hellish figure.

But you can never add or subtracts any fact that they had been part of your stories.Those cries and hurts.Those dull and phlegmatic seconds you need to kill and the otherwise jumpy moments.All the parts that you left behind are responsible enough making who you are right now. People are dressed by their histories and bygones because they do change and don't just simply ageing.

And what is more interesting is that future is never be there to be calculated. Human do expect and count on them to make him or her a better man. Never hold high hopes for everything will turn out the way you've planned. 

That's the fatal difference on what's making a journal or a diary.

Planner,holds various kind of  imaginative wisdoms to be finished and yet diary  carries all the finishing storyline of the day. And finished does not necessarily mean completed,instead it contain the meaning of ending of situations either they are successively done or the other way round.

Tomorrow never tell any truth 

but yesterday never let you lie about the truth.

Yesterdays are filled by varied colour

 but tomorrow is still empty and ready to be painted.

Tomorrow is the most mysterious evidence to be searched

And yet yesterday had been explored

Don't keen too much for tomorrow to arrive earlier than it had to be

Because once it done,you can never turn back (only look back)

So you can choose either to fill up your paper by arranging the words of yesterday or tomorrow :D

For the very least

Thanks to Fitrah Jaidon, for encouraged me to rebel in English again.I appreciated that when I'm the one who didn't trust my writings anymore. Thank you to all my friends. Who always tell me to go on,to continue my alphabets doodles.

Looking up to reach the sky, I ponder
Why? Why does it always end up like this?
When I thought I can change the world with my magic courage.
I thought I can do anything mere impossibles as long as i believe.
I thought I can spread my wings of my true colours and show the entire Earth I'm that great.
I thought I can resist all those fighters just by showing my fist.
I believe how this life is perfectly revolves around my circle of assumptions.






Hell no.




That's just too good to be true. When you're at home,you feel safe and secured.But once you step outside, only God knows where you should continue your footsteps onto.


Your tongue's frozen when you want to speak up your mind.Your head dizzily refuse to defense when somebody seems to turn you down. Your heart beat dangerously fast even though you practice those lines thousands of time.Your pride lower it's precious credibility when you have to face with sea of anonymous people. You try to hide yourself when limelight isn't the place to express yourself. Even when you have to speak to someone who'd been peeping in your dreams, your supposed-to-be natural act suddenly appears awkward.


Eventually you hate yourself for unable to do anything miraculous.

That's how it is.




I feel coward and frighten.Just look the way how life treats me. I have to figure something fast which currently suppose to be my identity just to fit in with reality. Slowly,i have to recreate my plans for my pathway. No matter how much tears i had shed,but i still, i have to move on.




Sometimes,there were bright days,but there are more days awaiting ahead of me.For better or worse, all I can do is to be brave. Brave to face hims and hers. Brave to face you and you.


And whenever my body trembles again,please give me space to cry.


No doubt why i keep lying to my feelings.When it hurts i smile.When it troubled my wrenching mind, i stay calm.When it makes me nervous so terribly,i try not to jump.


At times you find it hard to pretend.But when it became your second natural which flows down your vein, you became that person,who stupidly smile over problems and say to yourself,move.


Guess it's hard enough to cheer yourself up behind the wall,but once the veil reveals you on the stage,you have to continue acting.Act gracefully,for people's happiness.For their sake,just don't show them how hard your heart finding the solutions, how hard you've been getting ready to make them happy,until I realize i don't deserve anything precious.

Apparently,I start blaming myself.


For my clumsiness,for me being nobody.
And all i want,is to go home. Not a place where you call it house,nor your bedroom.
But somewhere homey where I can chant happily when nobody eyeing which judge by telling me how peculiar my easiness are. Home,where people accept me just the way i speak and behave. Just the way my heart tells and my mind thinks.
The place where someone you like,at least look you into your eyes. Not just walk away as he passed by you and look at her.

There was never a fairytale kind of dream. For the very least,each of us dream for our best. Glad that i can still breathe and say to you how I love you,even the journey is way too long and troublesome.

Endless songs

It perks you heart and mind when such soothing sounds flowing inside your ears 

Your heartbeat seemed to follow the rhythm 

So pleasant it does create an imaginary world for you 

They blend you into the feelings and bring you through the whole story of the singer 

As though the contentment reach for your fulfillments

And apparently you hope it lasts and repeated.

Feels the melodies

Allow the joyous cadence

Jump and slowly dance

So fast and hyper

With your soul touching the sky

Close your eyes

When the fingers can touch the rainbow

You'll see the brighter day

But,hey..they do end,rite?

The spacious shallowness you thought you erased would reappear. Sooner or later.

Because there'll always be the sad songs. 

Pianist and violinist 

-How they do their instruments so perfectly

When your heart flinches along with the sorrow breezes.It aches very much 

How you have to endure it alone in an empty room left by no mankind 

How much you hate them,you just incapable to switch them off

Wait and wait for them.Wait till the end

When the journey through the sounds are long enough to make the pain insanely grow

Please,just stay stand a lil longer

Don't loose your grip

All the unpleasant humming 

Even the air are so suffocating

When tears are just priceless

Misery filled up the entire moment

But sooner or later

The songs will end their death-march 

Definitely,

Definitely

And they too,,will end :)

Nothing last forever

Prepare for the next,they might be white,they might be black.

Wake up and face the tomorrow. Dreams may be endless,but there's no such things like endless songs.

How life works

    Running following the flow
    Many turn their heads back to recall
    What they name as 'memories'
    Like the river unstoppably mute
    I can't help but forced
    Unmistakably done anything to reach the pelf of the world
    Imitating how others do
  

    Somehow seemed satisfying
    But for those who tend to ponder
    They're just not more than the hellish unfulfilled promises
    Their strings of words
    Could be twisted and turned to fit
    With the trashes they'd dreamed up
  

    That's how life works
    Don't say never
    When every time you chase them
    You'd feel terribly tired
    Sure do they're spellbound
    Undeniably amazing and catchy
    But please do keep in mind
    Fortune and luck are certainly one of the swindles
    Made you forget all of them would end soon
    And before you can remember
    You'd be there for the everlasting land
    Return alone empty-handed
    It's rather the most regretting moment
  

    Because you keep chasing for world to recognize you
    Drown in the sea of false
    Which you tough never-endingly content
    Fame for the livings upon the Earth
    Wake up my dear
    Please wake up
    Because these how world works

Big Apple-ey

Hey little yummy yoo

Colorful top among the sprinkles

Hey little cutie 

You make my day gay

Hey little softies

My little tummy tuned

Hey little doughnuts

I can't stop munching